Four Ways We Self-Sabotage
Most of us are guilty of self-sabotage. We do it in different ways. You may know exactly how you do it. You may do it subconsciously. But, most of us do it in some form and in some area of our lives. Here are some common ways that we sabotage ourselves, and what to do about it:
Negative Self Talk:
Why do we do this to ourselves? We wouldn’t do it to anyone else. This is the hardest to understand, but also very common. We tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough, or we don’t deserve something. We are too fat, thin or old. It’s tough when you have a dialogue like that running over and over in your head. This type of self-sabotage really takes a toll. It’s like being programmed with negative thoughts all of the time.
Turn your negative thoughts around. Imagine how you would feel if there was a positive script running through your mind instead. How do you think that would affect you? Would you feel a little differently about yourself? Of course you would. Next time you tell yourself you are too this or not enough of that, change to the positive. Write down some positive statements that you can read over again.
Fear of Success
Some of us have fears that hold us back. The fear of success can actually encompass a slew of other fears. What would happen if you were successful in a particular area of your life? What would change? Some people are afraid that others would no longer like them if they were too successful. Others fear the thought of change in general—getting out of their comfort zone. Maybe they would have to travel or change their lives drastically. Some people believe they would feel guilty if they were successful.
Think hard about what success would means to you. Envision how you would feel, and what it would look like. Be honest with yourself—are there reasons you might be holding yourself back? How would your family and friends react? What would the big changes in your life look like? Answer these questions and you will probably find that you really do not have a legitimate fear. You may have fear around some of the steps to getting there, but you can work through those fears.
Focusing on others and comparing ourselves:
This is one of the most common ways we disrupt our success. We look at the lives of others and think that they have what we should have, or they have achieved something that we wish we had achieved. Often times, we don’t see all of the normal life challenges that the person has gone through. We are focusing on a part of a person’s life without knowing the full picture.
We should all be proud of our own accomplishments and focus on our own successes to move forward. We should not compare ourselves to others unless we are doing it for inspiration and knowledge. Turn this sabotage technique around to your benefit and focus on positives in order to become a better person.
Procrastination:
I have written quite a few blogs and articles on this topic. Most of us procrastinate somewhere in our lives. We procrastinate in different ways. Some of us might put off making a routine doctor’s appointment. Others might delay getting started on projects and wait until the last minute to finish them up. I have heard some of my clients tell me that they deliberately put off assignments because they work better under pressure. Whatever the case, procrastination is rarely a positive thing.
There have been some cases with my clients where I can see them putting off an activity that will take them closer to one of their goals. However, they are completing all of their other tasks toward their other goals. In these cases, I ask them why they seem to procrastinate on that one goal. Sometimes, the goal they set just isn’t important to them anymore. Next time you feel yourself start to procrastinate, ask yourself why. If it is still a relevant project or task, then start doing something toward completing it.
